Stress Soloution #1 - Fulfillment & Purpose
May 6, 2008 by Liz Harper
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I don’t know if you are like me, but sometimes I find it so difficult to hear my own thoughts above the constant background noise of other people’s chatter … (“Mum, can I please have something to eat?” “Mum, I’m bored!” “Honey, have you seen the car keys?” “Mum can you wipe my bottom?” ) It’s easy to lose yourself or at least, the person you used to be.
It’s a fact of life… these things don’t go away (and in some cases you wouldn’t ever want to change it), but Andrew Sheridan who is a life coach has some suggestions on how to make your situation better…
Stress Solution #1: Bring Fulfillment and Purpose into Your Life
Life in the 21st century can certainly be challenging! We struggle with the demands of modern day living – paying the bills, finding good schools for the kids, bringing home enough money to take a holiday once in a while… and all this day to day activity can take away from the other things that are important to us, such as relationships, health and family.
When we spend most of our time trying to balance all the ‘shoulds’ that make up part of our everyday existence, we often end up overwhelmed and asking ourselves questions like, Why? What’s the point? Will it ever get easier? Why do I feel like something is missing?
Here’s a possible answer: perhaps the missing ingredient isn’t more time, more money, or happiness. Perhaps it’s fulfillment that’s missing. Fulfillment leads to more time, money, and happiness; or at least, a better perspective - that isn’t so overwhelming.
Fulfillment comes when you are fully aligned with your deepest values and desires - when everything just works seamlessly.
Think back to a time of great joy, or an outrageously exciting experience you had in which everything flowed perfectly and time stood still.
There was nothing else going on other than what was in that moment. You weren’t worrying about the unpaid bills, or that pile of washing, or the phone calls you haven’t returned. You were fully present and in the moment, savouring the experience that had you so excited and happy.
What would it be like to live life from that place? To be able to balance the demands of everyday living (which are real and do need to be dealt with, after all) while acknowledging our own desires and needs? Ultimately, there are things in the world that you can control, and things that you can’t. You can’t control the weather, for example, but you do have some control over your experience of it.
In looking at what you can do… how can you merge your values with your needs in order to create more fulfillment in your life? And how do you do fulfillment anyway? Do you do it daily? Weekly? Monthly? In between the washing and the shopping?
Consider this: fulfillment isn’t a thing you reach at some future date, so much as something you are. It is measured by your sense of well-being, of contentment, and by asking yourself what it would take to be fulfilled.
In looking at your current life, think about just one action you might be able to take that would give you that sense of accomplishment or that ever-elusive ‘ahhh!’ It can be something small, like making a call you’ve been putting off, or choosing to put the chores aside to have some quality time with the kids this evening.
Or something bigger…like going back to college. The point is that it should be something you do to bring yourself a sense of satisfaction in the present moment.
What you’ll find is that you begin to nurture your intuition about what is right for you, and which of your personal values are being honoured. There may be moments of struggle, which in itself can be seen as sign of moving towards fulfillment in whatever form that is for you.
This may happen when you choose not to partake in collective criticism of a colleague, for example. While those around you may initially be surprised because you’ve opted out, the inner you will feel a sense of peace at honouring a value you hold of integrity and respect for others.
Whitworth, Kimsey-House and Sandhahl write in their excellent book on Co-Active Coaching that fulfillment is ‘about being fully alive’ and a ‘full expression of who we really are.’ While the above is only an example, it demonstrates a simple way in which tuning into what really matters can deepen your inner sense of wholeness, without compromising the values you stand for.
How can you know when you’re experiencing fulfillment? Most people will simply know. It’s not so much an intellectual observation as an intuitive one. Coaching clients often report a sense of wholeness, completeness and harmony as they open up to the possibility of choice in their lives, and come to accept that they are deserving of good things.
They find that dealing with day-to-day activities on the outside becomes significantly less frustrating when they’re satisfied on the inside. The key is to notice what happens for you as you play with this concept, and delight in the sense of presence that comes as you do so.
Bringing your awareness to the positive impact of your choices will do much to elevate your sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.
As you explore the possibilities outlined above, it is also important to consider the alternative: what happens if you do nothing? This is something that I challenge you to consider with some thought.
In one year’s time, do you want your life to be exactly where it is today, or do you want it to be more aligned with your goals and your dreams?
What kind of an example are you setting for the next generation, if you throw in the towel 20, 30, 40 or even 50 years early because you are too tired, too unhealthy, too unwilling or dejected to take responsibility? The clock is ticking, and ultimately, you are the only person who can take the first step!
Did you ever see the film “Pay It Forward?” What is one good deed today worth to the next person? I guarantee you this: when you commit to living your lives from a place of fulfillment, the knock-on effects are tremendous.
Think about what happens when a stranger helps you out or treats you with respect. Chances are you’ll pass it onto the next person you come into contact with, and so on. And that’s happening unconsciously! What happens when you start to do it consciously?
You have a marvelous opportunity to take care of yourselves and so do your part in being an example to others, especially for the current generation of so-called disaffected kids. Instead of blaming them, let’s start showing them.
Now picture this scenario: the time is 2028, and you are standing in front of your future self. Who do you see? How do you look? What have you accomplished? Where are you physically? How much abundance is in your life? How healthy are you? How’s your confidence?
How much are you affected by the good opinion of others? It comes down to this: What accomplishments will you have to have achieved in your lifetime, in order for you to consider it a successful one?
While it can seem daunting to look so far ahead from the present place of mortgages, rising costs, never-ending chores and the persistent lack of time, the fact remains that you are still, and always will be, the only person who can take control and do something about it.
And the simplest way to do that is get back into the game of your life – and start with one simple action. Any action. A choice to be yourself, be healthy, eat well, sleep well, learn, experience, explore, grow, laugh, cry… Whatever it is for you, know this: you already have all the tools that you need!
Good luck – your life is On The Up!
On The Up Professional Coaching works with people committed to empowering themselves and living the fullest version of their lives – the ones for whom the status quo isn’t enough. If you’re interested in learning more about how coaching can benefit you, call Andrew on 07 3279 6800 or visit www.ontheupcoaching.com
I hope you enjoyed Andrew’s article…here are some more articles from around the web you may enjoy:
The Miracle of Personal Development by Jim Rohn
How Your Beliefs Affect Your Success In Life!
How Your Beliefs Drive Your Goals In Life
Self Improvement and Success
Setting Your Goals - Easier Said, Easily Done
Powerful questions.
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